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• The Soap Bubble Episode 1
  by Andrew Walker

  Following several knock backs and aborted attempts to gain access to Paul Vanzella I have finally…

  Following several knock backs and aborted attempts to gain access to Paul Vanzella I have finally managed to jimmy the lock and enter the building that houses his workshop. It’s quite dirty to look at, yet remains aesthetically pleasing at the same time (much like a lot of his work). I have no doubt that I’m going in the right direction. There are bright flashes of light from the other end of this cavernous room, a cackling laughter can be heard along with a drone of generators / I’m entering the inner sanctum, the magic place that Paul (the Van Man) Vanzella creates his masterpieces. It’s hard to get into the corner, the bric a brack thickens as you get closer, then after squeezing between a digger and a airplane fuselage (that I’m sure I have seen before), I’m there! Blinking in the full glare of the spotlights lighting this whole area! / “WHO DARES DISTURB ME?” booms a voice from the shadows, I can just make out the outline of a figure in the lights. It looks like one of the aliens from Close encounters!!! Shock horror – Paul Vanzella is not human, hold on a moment, that’s hardly news is it, I mean we have all seen his work! / From behind me I hear movement, like the wind through silk curtains, suddenly I realise that I’m not here in the light on my own! Oh no the Van-man is in the middle of a shoot, that means if I turn round I’ll get an eyeful of Jo (No Clothes) O’Brien. / Trying to ‘nonchalantly’ turn around, I manage to avoid the expected whiplash and there in front of me stands No Clothes O’Brien ! In the nip , her birthday suit, wearing just a smile! Do I need to go on? / She looks less than happy at me being there! “how dare you” she squeeks, “we were just in the middle of recreating the Venus Di Milo! But we were going to call it the Jo Di Milo” ahh that explains the strange yellow sheen to Miss O’Brien’s skin, and here was me thinking it was jaundice. She makes no move to hide herself, instead she hisses, “best look elsewhere four eyes or I’ll turn those glasses your wearing into contact lenses!” she’s not joking there’s a real violence in her you can see it in her eyes and the scabs on her knuckles! / Turning back was where I got the whiplash “just do exactly as I say and nobody will get hurt” she whispered into my ear “isn’t that right Pauly?” she cackled. The lights dimmed and I could make the Van Man out a little clearer, he wasn’t an alien he was chained to the camera, in fact 5 camera’s hung round his neck making him visibly stoop, his ankles were chained together…a look of the defeated in his eyes he mouthed “Help Me…”. / So there we have it, Paul Vanzella is being held against his will and forced to take pictures of Jo ‘No Clothes’ O’Brien (his number one fan!), in her dastardly scheme to take over the bubble with the power and volume of her image. Oh the inhumanity of it! PLEASE NOTE THAT THE EPISODES FOLLOW ON FROM EACH OTHER IN A SOAP OPERA STYLE. WHILST EACH EPISODE SHOULD BE A STORY IN ITSELF IT IS HOPED THEY THREAD TOGETHER. THERE ARE MORE EPISODES TO READ, JUST CLICK HERE! SOAP BUBBLE please note that all comments are completely fictitious and intended to be humorous. The journal relates to my interpretation of the art and to stories that I make up about the artist as a bubble characters rather than focusing on the real people behind the art

• Let that be a Warning to You!
  by Wendy Slee

  As I sink in my chair, strong coffee in hand, wishing it was something more potent…. I wonder if any of you really need to hear my stor…

  As I sink in my chair, strong coffee in hand, wishing it was something more potent…. I wonder if any of you really need to hear my story of disaster, but then I smile and realize I have an important message to share…. You simply must NOT lose yourself in the bubble for too long, or too often. / Life does have habit of sneaking up on you, or past you when you are missing in action…..(or engrossed in the bubble). / It can even be dangerous for health, home and sanity…. / I just learned that the hard way….. Here I sat, several hours ago, morning coffee in hand, the kids were on the school bus, the animals fed, a load of washing was buzzing away in the machine and I felt safe to “indulge” ...... / aaah….even the noises in the laundry, the animal sounds, the bird song could not shake my focus on some of your wonderful images…... and writing my messages back to you…. / UNTIL… / crash…. / bang… / holy shite! / on my front verandah, the sound of hooves….BIG ones! (now I have little horses who often would climb up on my old wooden verandah and clatter around to get my attention, or look for treats, but this was way too big for them!) I carefully open my front door, and there staring me in the face – a big black cow’s butt…..well, a steer’s rear end, to be exact. / This bloody great thing with his herd had wandered into my front yard demolishing everything in sight, and he, with the huge stick on his neck (put there because he kept getting through fences and I can tell you, it obviously hasn’t stopped him!) had decided to climb up the steps and wander casually along my verandah….eating my pot plants…. / So there he was in the sunshine, casually gazing out at his lesser buddies from the height of my humble verandah….. I knew if I scared him from behind like this, he would smash the glass table and chairs, the kids’ bikes and the multitude of potted plants and fall of the high end of the verandah (I live on the slope of a hill) so I thought I might go around and climb out my bedroom window and chase him quietly (ha ha) back to the opening where he might “get off”..... I decided to grab the broom from the laundry to help and as I stepped out to the back half of my house, my feet went ankle deep in water. / The whole room was flooded…. a hose had come unplugged, and both cycles of the washing machine dumped out on the laundry floor…..and you know the best thing about living in an old farm house? / When someone builds on a back room, they do it on the cheap, nobody bothers with a spirit level, so the floors slope the wrong way…..the drain holes are all uphill, and the water floods downhill. / again I say “holy you know what!!” So there was the kids playroom, carpet and couch, the bathroom, the sunroom and laundry all under water, and it was still flowing back through to the rest of my house. Did I use a four letter word? / who? / me? / (No I used dozens! AND made up some new ones….) The bovine was forgotten, I grabbed the broom and started swishing the water back towards any opening where i might get it out of those rooms. Grabbing clothes and clean washing to be folded, and kids toys and books up out of the water…... / aaaah you get the picture. / OF course the water just kept flooding back….. living on a hill has its perks ha ha…...but for this I would need to turn the house around. I wondered if I could knock a hole in the downhill wall and just let it out that way….. / but NO… / it had to be mopped and swished and cleaned up, every damn last drop. On one frantic rush through the house to get more towels and mops, I spied the RB screen waiting on my computer and just thought… / “damn!” Meantime, going into all those dark places under cupboards and behind things, it washed out numerous little inhabitants, the eightlegged kind, so I had a bit of a flood of red back spiders emerging too….. so….that just made it all the more fun. / Living dangerously …. Two hours later, aching back, wet feet, wet everydamnthing…. I drag out the carpets and furniture onto the back lawn, to see the bloody steer’s buddies in my back yard now, eating and shiiitting under my clothesline…. / Where’s the dog when you need her? / (oh of course, running under the house with the wet shoes I put outside to dry, isn’t she!) Then to the front verandah which now has broken boards and the scene of destruction where the clever beastie jumped off the verandah and took all the ceramic pots with him…..smasho! / How can one gentle animal create such a mess ….. (but I shan’t complain because this kind animal saved his bowel movement till he ran off down the track…..phew! mighty thoughtful…..) So…I tell you, next time you sit and indulge at Redbubble, bear in mind that life still goes on around you, and it can catch you up and overtake you in a big bad way if you are not watching…...it can even smash up the front of your house, crap at the back of it and flood everything in between…. but hey, / I came back to Redbubble didn’t I !!!

• Obama Lincoln United, November 19th, 2008
  by Sam Dantone

  I can’t help but exploit this day. Today is the 145th year anniversary of the Gettysburg Address. Thats “Seven score and 5 years ag…

  I can’t help but exploit this day. Today is the 145th year anniversary of the Gettysburg Address. Thats “Seven score and 5 years ago…” that Abraham Lincoln addressed our civil war torn nation and offered these words… “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal…” These words were aimed to reunite a nation and move it forward to an age where this idea can be reality. We are still working on it… / Hot Damn!... Obama gets us one step closer to it, but sadly we know the truth. All men may be born equal, but some will not play like it. Some choose to feel they are better. Our nation well knows this type of personality. Believe me, they are a minority. Thankfully so. Peace to all my brothers. / Sam Dantone

• Who are you ?
  by Darren Sharp

  If you can start the day without caffeine, / If you can get going without pep pills, / If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pa…

  If you can start the day without caffeine, / If you can get going without pep pills, / If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, / If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, / If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, / If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, / If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, / If you can ignore a friend’s limited education and never correct him, / If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend, / If you can conquer tension without medical help, / If you can relax without liquor, / If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, / Then you are probably the family dog!!!!!!

• Taking Your Camera Everywhere
  by Jeff Burns

  I wanted to share a funny experience I had with my Brother-In-law back in 2005. / I also consider him one of my best friends. We always h…

  I wanted to share a funny experience I had with my Brother-In-law back in 2005. / I also consider him one of my best friends. We always have fun whatever we do. Vincent Vartorella – who just joined redbubble a while back is my brother-in-law in case you don’t know. When we go places we love to take our cameras. It doesn’t matter where we go or what we are doing. I guess you could say we share the same interest in photography and enjoy it. / We screw around all time and we are always sneaking pictures of each other and having fun when the other isn’t looking. We probably have more pictures of each other than you could imagine and we just laugh. We went on a all day golf trip and I took my Sony Cybershot small camera with us, it was new at the time. / We used the heck out of that camera shooting every shot you could imagine. / It was a blast. We were heading to the 17th green and I said “Hey I have an idea, why don’t you go up on the green and I will hit a shot towards the green and we can see what it looks like on video. We never used the camera for video. So we wanted to see how the quality was. I dropped a ball about 100 yards from the green and he went and stood directly by the flag. / Of course he had to add his commentary to the shot which made this hilarious. Go Here / To see what happened. To this day we still laugh and can not believe this happened. / What are the odds? So one day I posted it on You Tube for fun. The funny part is its kind of popular I have a ton of hits on it.

• Hmmm
  by RavenSoul

  The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm. It takes your food seven seconds to get from…

  The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm. It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb). / / The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb. / / Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. / / A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s. / / There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. / / Women blink twice as often as men. / / The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain. / / Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when yo u are standing still. / / If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. / / Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs. / /

• The Soap Bubble
  by Andrew Walker

  Over the next few months I intend to take those willing to read, on a literary adventure through the bubble. As an investigative journali…

  Over the next few months I intend to take those willing to read, on a literary adventure through the bubble. As an investigative journalist and member of the bubble I will aim to place some meaning behind some of the more interesting and popular images on the bubble, I will endeavour to give the reader insight into such important questions as… • Is there a relationship going on between Paul Vanzella and Jo O’Brien / • Does Mel Brackstone wear waders all the time and does her tripod have crustaceans and seaweed on it / • Who would win the fight if Stuart Chapman and Mel Brackstone met on a beach? / • Flibble how does he do that? / • Deborah Parkin has she painted her house and family black and white on purpose I am sure that there will be more questions that I will investigate over time and if there are specific issues that you feel need answers then get in touch and I’ll see what I can do. please note that all comments are completely fictitious and intended to be humorous. The journal relates to my interpretation of the art and to stories that I make up about the artist as a bubble characters rather than focusing on the real people behind the art This has been inspired by a comment from Paul Vanzella relating to the comments that I have posted on several of his recent works – all of which I find truly astounding Andrew

• mikoto after 4 weeks at Paddington Markets
  by mikoto

  I was going to write about my experience at the Paddington Markets...

  I was going to write about my experience at the Paddington Markets after the first week but I though I’d wait till a month passed so that I had a better understanding of how it was going to be overall. Many people had said that it can be very up and down, and the were spot on. The biggest predicament so far has been where they place my stall. the first week there, I was in the ‘platinum’ area where much of the other arts and crafts are. it was a great vibe and the people around me were really friendly. I had a constant stream of interest and sold shirts and badges frequently. The 2nd and thirds week in contrast were not much fun. I was placed adjacent to the food area and on top of the playground. The smell of onion and screaming of kids was really not enjoyable and had a huge impact on the interest and frequency of sales. It was a little scary to get though half the day and not sell anything while watching people walk like zombies towards the irresistible smell of cooking sausage and onion. I made enough of a fuss to get placed back into the platinum area on the fourth week and it was back to where I feel I belong :) It a has so far been a lot of fun and very educational for me. I have said to a number of people that I was thinking about doing a masters at university that can cost upwards of $10,000, but then I decided why not instead invest into a small business idea that will more than likely make me work harder, teach me more, and at the very least earn back a few dollars. In all its a great way to spend my saturdays. My partner shannon is out there and we visit each other regularly and run away from our stall to have lunch together. She has been so helpful in helping teaching me the ins and outs of the markets and its funny to think the we are now “market honeys” Hope you enjoyed reading my account and if you get the chance come say hi! Scotty / Here is a picture of my stall. the Japanese privacy screens at the back really sets my little shirts shop apart / Here is a photo of some of the shirts, the middle 2 were from redbubble and I called them “One Offs” hehe. / I present my badges in muffin trays and have made a habit of buying 2 cupcakes in the morning. Its a great conversation starter and I get to eat them at the end of the day!

• So Funny I am Still Crying
  by jemimalovesbigted

  I absolutely had to share this email with everyone around here…. For your enjoyment! *Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational A clev…

  I absolutely had to share this email with everyone around here…. For your enjoyment! Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational A clever play on words in case you missed it. Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which, once again, asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The winners are: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. / 2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an arsehole. / 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. / 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. / 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. / 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting lucky. / 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. / 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it. / 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. / 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. / 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) / 12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer. / 13. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. / 14. Glibido: All talk and no action. / 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. / 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. / 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. / 18. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating. / / The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs. / 2. flabbergasted (adj.): appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. / 3. abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. / 4. esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk. / 5. willy-nilly (adj.): impotent. / 6. negligent (adj.): absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. / 7. lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp. / 8. gargoyle (n.): olive-flavoured mouthwash. / 9. flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. / 10. balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline. / 11. testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam. / 12. rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. / 13. pokemon (n.): a Rastafarian proctologist. / 14. oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. / 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. / 16. circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. So good!

• 5.00 Funny
  by salsbells69

  As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave- / side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The …

  As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave- / side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral / was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man / would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with / the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop / for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and / the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side / of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I / assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the / proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their / lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say ‘Amen ,’ ‘Praise the Lord,’ and / ‘Glory’! I preached and I preached, like I’d never preached before; / from Genesis all the way to Revelation. I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. As I / was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the / workers saying to another, ‘I ain’t never seen anything like that / before in my life and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for thirty-two / years.’ Unknown Author

• Two Cool Dudes
  by Jeff Burns

  Just wanted to wish everyone Happy Holidays and I put together a little Jig for everyone / Hope you enjoy. / Only happens once a year!! / I …

  Just wanted to wish everyone Happy Holidays and I put together a little Jig for everyone / Hope you enjoy. / Only happens once a year!! / I guess you could say I am dancing with Simon Gladwin Finally! Here Yeah Baby YEAH!!

• A good laugh
  by amarica

  I just watched a very funny video spoof on the Olympics. / If you would like a good laugh click here...

  I just watched a very funny video spoof on the Olympics. / If you would like a good laugh click here

• Holy Sh*#t
  by Darren Sharp

  I just had one of these land on me and it scared the shit out of me!!!! Just quietly having a smoke outside and the little bugger decided…

  I just had one of these land on me and it scared the shit out of me!!!! Just quietly having a smoke outside and the little bugger decided i was good enough to land on and after doing a dance like a wild man he decided i was’nt that flash at all lol!!!! / It is apparently an Insectivorous Bat and it’s lucky it’s not a dead bat lol

• Why? A funny to create a few smiles tonight.....
  by Jaybe

  WHY? / / Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do b…

  WHY? / / Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’? Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours? Are there specially reserved parking spaces for ‘normal’ people at the Special Olympics? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? / / Did you ever stop and wonder…... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze / these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’ Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.’ Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs! If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?.......think about it…...LOL If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from… morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on….... Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

• Do you need a laugh?? What Religion is Your Bra?
  by adgray

  This one came to me in a chain email lol but it is funny! :O) A man walked into the ladies department of Myer’s and shyly walked up …

  This one came to me in a chain email lol but it is funny! :O) A man walked into the ladies department of Myer’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, ‘I’d like to buy a bra for my wife. ‘ / ’ What type of bra?’ asked the saleslady. / ‘Type?’ inquires the man, ‘There’s more than one type?’ / ’ Look around,’ said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable. / ‘Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types / of bras to choose from .’ the sales lady admitted / Relieved, the man asked about the types. / The saleslady replied: ‘There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?’ / Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. / The Saleslady responded, ‘It is all really quite simple. . / The Catholic type supports the masses; / The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; / The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; / The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.’ They forgot the German bra. Holtzemfromfloppen / Essential for joggers and gym junkies! :O) :O) Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! {A} Almost Boobs… {B} Barely there… {C} Can’t Complain!... {D} Dang!... {DD} Double dang!... {E} Enormous!... {F} Fake… {G} Get a Reduction… {H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!... :O) I think I need a German Salvo Bra in G :O) [sounds like Beethoven! lol] / wonder if they sell them in the opp shop? lol – cheaper too! lol Chookas!!! :O)

• BUBBLEWORLD VOLUME 1
  by Steven Novak

  Welcome to the very first installment of a series of three panel strips I’ve aptly titled “Bubbleworld!” Bet you’re excited, aren’t y…

  Welcome to the very first installment of a series of three panel strips I’ve aptly titled “Bubbleworld!” Bet you’re excited, aren’t you? No? I used an exclamation point…didn’t that help any? No, it didn’t have any effect? Well, can you at least pretend to be excited? For your old pal Steve? Come on, what’s it going to hurt? You can? Cool, thanks, I appreciate it. My goal with the “Bubbleworld” is simply to showcase the work of some of the people I’ve met during my first three months or so on the site, and to show my appreciation of them, and admiration for their work in the only way I know how… By poking fun at them. (What can I say, I’m an emotional misfit.) First on the chopping block is the good Mr. Dave Edwards also known as BLYTHART / (For a larger image click the picture) Dave is a man of many artistic talents and seems to be a hell of a nice guy to boot. Hopefully he enjoyed my little comic. Here are just a few examples of Dave’s work that I used as inspiration for the above piece. (Click for a larger image) I’m going to try and do a new one every couple of weeks, some sooner, some no doubt later due to my amazing ability procrastinate. I already have next weeks edition ready to go so expect it next Monday. If anyone out there wants me to feature them, just let me know via. Bubblemail and I’ll see what I can do. It might take me a couple of months to get to you but I’ll try my best. Steve~

• YOU WANNA LAUGH THIS MORNING/EVENING?
  by linaji

  OK.. THE… HOOK UP ARTIST SENT THIS TO ME ON MY PIECE / BUTTERFLY EFFECT...

  OK.. THE… HOOK UP ARTIST SENT THIS TO ME ON MY PIECE / BUTTERFLY EFFECT / STEVE HOOK CAN REALLY MAKE YOUR DAY WITH HIS HOOK UP FACTOR HERE IS THE….....BUTTERFLY EFFECT IN REAL TIME I have only watched this a million times!!

• You Know All These Years I’ve Been Eating With The Wrong Fingers…!!
  by freebornman

  David, my ex-pat London lawyer friend had a visit from his parents this week….. …….Lord and Lady something or other…… ‘Loads-a-Money’ I …

  David, my ex-pat London lawyer friend had a visit from his parents this week….. …….Lord and Lady something or other…… ‘Loads-a-Money’ I think……man have they got serious cash ……I once visited their huge mansion in Bath, England…. monstrous place, even their chauffeur has a chauffeur. They’ve got glass hand bells for summoning servants and sporting trophies in a cabinet. / He says to me “my parents are here why don’t you come round Friday after dinner” …….We’re just worlds apart. He’s had a a long and successful career… I come from Dagenham in East London. People who live there don’t have careers they‘re well pleased just to have jobs. / It’s not twinned with anywhere that’s for sure. It hasn’t any strange attractions which must not be missed, or an information centre…… nobody wants to go there…. It has got an escape committee and a suicide pact with Stevenage. / Our house was really pokey….. two short strides and you were half way up the stairs. The walls were so thin if the television wasn’t switched on you could hear next door’s budgie talking to itself. Mind you these days the budgie would be more entertaining…..Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than look at each other. If I settle myself in front of the T.V. for, I don’t know, ten minutes. I am in serious danger of remaining there for ever!!……… I cannot drag myself away!!!. I sit there and watch the most crappiest movies into the wee small hours , eyes bulging out of my head. I know where the remote is …. It’s on top of the telly but I can’t be arsed getting up to get it!! / I was addicted as a kid……… / I loved the cowboys…..Hopalong Cassidy, Rin Tin Tin ,The Lone Ranger, The Cisco kid…………. I’d spend hours in the shed afterwards slapping me chaps…………………………………......as cowboys did !!!!!!!! / I arrived at David’s, knocked on the door he opened it wearing a dinner jacket and bow tie saying….” I thought I told you to come round ‘after’ dinner” …..I said “That’s what I have come round ‘after‘…… (know what I mean ….worlds apart.!)………. / Have you ever been for a stuffy tea in the house of the rich….they have fish knives and cruet sets. I’ve never seen a fish knife in my life. Come to think of it that’s not strictly true ….my old dad had one that he used to scrape out the chicken shit from the nesting boxes. …… I’d spot him a bit later spreading butter on his toast………… same knife!!!………………… / David’s mother said ”Do you mind if I sit on your right hand at dinner?” …(you’re ahead of me I’m sure..) I said…” I guess so………. But I might have to use it!……….( not a smile ..not a crack …. Not even a grimace.)… I thought some Friday night this is tuning out to be. I know the dying process starts the minute we’re born but somehow it accelerated this night. We started with consommé …. It tasted like someone had left a bowl of warm water and a piece of meat in the same room together….. and NOTHING is less important to me than what fork to use… / She said “ I have no concern for the common man other than he should not be so common”…. I said” Go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut!” and it was all down hill from there………..

• Formal Apology
  by Tania Rose

  I thought this might come in handy

  I thought this might come in handy

• Logged onto an Incredible Laugh......Warning!!!!
  by Jeff Burns

  I would encourage everyone to check this out. / Especially if you are a closet fan of the group Aqua. LMAO My Buddy Darren Sharp did ”...

  I would encourage everyone to check this out. / Especially if you are a closet fan of the group Aqua. LMAO My Buddy Darren Sharp did This / Singing Darrens words to the song is awesome. LOL / You have to goto his writing and keep the laughter going / and leave him a clever comment! I love it And if you do not know the song go Here I do warn you once you go there the song will be stuck with you for a long time. / Classic Darren just a classic

• My Creativity with Simon Gladwin
  by Jeff Burns

  My interview with the talented and funny Simon Gladwin AKA Austin Powers. To see a brief hi…

  My interview with the talented and funny Simon Gladwin AKA Austin Powers. To see a brief history of the fun we shared with his slams go: / Here / Here To see my responses go: / Here / Here Oh the fun we have together he is totally amazing” Enjoy How does being a creative person and pursuing your creativity affect other aspects of your life? My wife tuts when the alarm goes off at 4am and she then phones me at 11am to ask me where I am and if I’m ever coming home (just ask Mr Pettit). My kids call me ‘Daddy Camera Face’ and have taken to putting bags on their heads to avoid having their picture taken. I spend too much time sat at the puter editing. My mind never stops and I love the twitchy feeling you get when you get a new idea out of the blue and just have to try and get it down. I love learning new things and the sharp learning curve I feel I have had to muster here in order to try and stay afloat has been immense! I am a teacher of Design by profession and what I have learned through my meager stab at creativity has helped me to do new things with the kids at school…the girls photography group want me to lead a field trip next year…..I’m looking forward to that….but the thing I like most about pusuing my creativity is that it makes me smile and feel happy. It has also shown me I am capable of things I never knew I was capable of…..Imagine living a lifetime and never knowing you could do something that was so incredibley satisfying it could encompass your whole life…. Tell us about one person or moment that has made your time on redbubble particularly special or meaningful? Seeing Stuart Chapman dance like a girl on the stepping stones at dovedale during the UK RB meet……LOL…sorry Stu…….I do, however, now know what it is like to be out with a bunch of like minded people……That was a wonderful day for me. They were all warm and beautiful human beings……I have made some good frinds here….If Stu wasnt a southern softie and lived in Kent I am sure we would be good buds. As it is I have made an awesome friend in Graeme Pettit. He is a gent and is one of the nicest blokes you could ever meet. We go photting regularly! A nice chap who’s folio doesnt get the attention it deserves! Show & tell us about five works on redbubble that have moved or inspired you? Down Below by Stuart Chapman. Never have I encountered such a humble human being. You could pick any image from Stuarts folio and never tire of looking at it. His work is fantastic yet the only person who wouldnt think it is Stuart! He has a natural understanding of composition and light coupled with colour contrast and texture that is just fabulous! Standing in my Shadow by Deb Parkin. Another wonderful and warm human being. Her camera is stuck in B&W and she is well and truly in tune with her inner Goth. Her images are outstanding in terms of tone,texture, light, composition,processing…the whole caboodle…her work is outstanding. This piece has it all in buckets. The light is just perfect. The depth to the image is wonderful. The child look so small and vulnerable. I just love it Another Night Experiment by Brent Pearson. This guys work is just amazing and among some of the most inspirational work I have come across. It has inspired me to try sooo many new things! This has so much energy and movement it’s unreal. Technical excellence and composition is immense. awesome stuff! Shipwrecked by Mel Brackstone. I just feel so woefully inadequate when I look at Mels work that I am lost for words. Everything about her work is breathtaking. She can turn her hand to anything! Into the Void by Naomi Frost. A natural photographer with a superb eye for composition. Her work has depth and draws you in. She can turn her hand to anything and what she produces just oozes quality from every pixel! Where do you feel your creativity comes from what are some things that motivate you? A little bit of me that was unlocked by a new camera last year and the discovery of RB. Things that motivate me…seeing new ideas work…..looking at inspirational work by inspirational people…..being a good human being! Name 3 artists that totally inspire you and have a great respect for? Salvador Dali —- Bonkers….would have loved to have been inside his head just for a short while…but any longer than 10 minutes would probably frazzle me! Ansel Adams……do I have to say anything? Andy Warhol…… Did his own thing…..had his finger in many pies….did things the common man could relate too…was inventive and original….amazing guy!

• Fifty Moderately Comical Answers to Fifty Not so Comical Questions
  by Steven Novak

  I’ve noticed lots of people doing this fifty questions thing around here lately. I also noticed that I was bored, and because of this fac…

  I’ve noticed lots of people doing this fifty questions thing around here lately. I also noticed that I was bored, and because of this fact I decided to mash the two things together like an ooey-gooey peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Don’t get any on your shirt. 1. Do you like blue cheese? / About as much as I like having rocks thrown at me by large groups of angry children who are mad because I won’t get off of the swing and give them a turn. (Not that that’s ever happened to me or anything…I mean, that would be just plain creepy.) 2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? / When I was much younger (and only slightly dumber) my grade school friends and I would pick used cigarette butts off of the ground on the baseball diamond near my house and smoke what was left of them. Needless to say, I was never too anxious to light up as I got older. 3. Do you own a gun? / I do not, no. Unless you count a water-gun? I’m thinking though that the person who wrote these questions didn’t have a water-gun in mind when typing them, so my answer remains no. 4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? / I’ve only been to a Sonic once in my life and as far as I can remember, I didn’t add any flavors to my drink. Unless you count puke, which came after I was done with my burger! POW! I JUST ZINGED YA SONIC! 5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? / Depends on what kind of doctor. My general practitioner? No. My gynecologist? Yes. Man, you wouldn’t believe the looks I get when I show up in that office! (That was a weird joke.) 6. Do you like hot-dogs? / No I don’t, so I give them a fresh bowl of water to help them cool down. (That was a lame joke.) 7. Favorite Christmas Song? / I don’t really have one. I cry a lot at Christmas. Okay, no I don’t…I’m just fishing for sympathy. 8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? / Mouth-wash. My wife prefers that I drink it too. No kissy-kissy until you squishy-squishy and spitty-spitty. (That was a really strange way to word that joke.) 9. Can you do push-ups? / Maybe…what do you care? Are you saying that I look out of shape? You’re looking at my gut aren’t you? AREN’T YOU!? I WORK BEHIND A DESK!! IT’S HARD TO STAY IN TIP TOP SHAPE!! LAY OFF! 10. What’s your favorite meal? / Pizza. I could eat pizza all day – every day, then go back in time and do it again. I know that sounds like an incredible waste of time traveling ability but it’s the truth. 11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? / I don’t really wear a whole lot of jewelry…out in public anyway. What I do in my private time, in the comfortable safeness of my home is my own business. Mine and Stephanies…Stephanie being me…crap…I’ve said too much. 12. Favorite hobby? / I suppose at this point “art” is no longer a hobby so I can’t really go with that. Darn, for years growing up that was my standard answer to this question, and now I’ve got nothing. Sleep? Does sleep count as a hobby? No? Okay fine! Geez, settle down! It’s not a hobby, fine!! You didn’t have to call me names just because I brought it up!! You were out of line with that…seriously…and bringing my mother into it was just plain wrong. 13. Do you work with people who idolize you? / Um…no. I could lie and say yes, but…um…no. Not at all. Not even a little. In fact pretty much the complete opposite. 14. Name a trait that you hate about yourself? / Too wordy. 16. Middle name? / Carl. It’s my father’s name. Yep a wonderful reminder of painful, failed relationships. Aint’ life grand? 17. Name 3 thoughts at this moment: / How in the world am I going to pay my mortgage this month if I don’t get some more freelance work asap? / Why am I typing a fifty question thing in my Redbubble journal instead of looking for more freelance work that would in turn keep me from being tossed out on the street? / Why was everything in Mr. Wonka’s office cut down the middle? Seriously, what was the purpose? A half of a telephone is pretty useless and a half of a water glass even more so. 18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: / The Mona Lisa. King Tuts mummy. Brand and Angelina’s fully furnished Hollywood mansion. (I suppose this completely answers the question as to why I can’t pay my mortgage this month.) 19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. / Water, tea, and Mountain Dew. I know, I know, drinking Mountain Dew is the equivalent of drinking battery acid, but I was suckered in by the “Do the Dew” campaign years ago and haven’t been able to get away from it since. DAMN YOU SLICK MARKETING CAMPAIGNS!! YOU GOT ME AGAIN! 20. Current worry right now? / Didn’t I already answer this question? I feel like I did. To answer it again would be pointless and I feel like the three people who might read this deserve better…so suck on that fifty questions! 21. Current hate right now? / How about anything and everything Jonas Brothers? That’s going to be my current hate tomorrow as well…and the day after that…and the day after that. In fact, just put them on the hate calendar for the next few years. 22. Favorite place to be? / In bed with my wife, forcing her to watch scary movies that she hates, and will no doubt give her nightmares. (Man I’m a jerk.) 23. How did you bring in New Years? / I think I was asleep at the time. In fact, I can’t honestly say that I’ve ever really “brought in” anything in my life. Parties and me go together like Bozo the Clown and a George Romero film. (Which is basically not at all.) 24. Favorite place to go? / My bathroom? I dunno. Traveling and me go together like Bozo the Clown and a Georg…sigh…I already made this joke, didn’t I? 25. What is your most recurring dream? / Ever since I was a kid I have had this dream about the town I grew up in getting flooded, and these weird monsters that lived underneath the water eating the survivors, who now lived in small boats and traveled from home to flooded home scavenging whatever they could in order to survive. Hey, that might make a pretty cool movie. 26. Introvert or extrovert? / Believe it or not, the word introvert was created specifically for me. As a kid I was the weird guy in the back of the room who never said a word and you thought might one day become a serial killer. As an adult I am the weird guy in the back of the room who never says a word and somehow, just barely, avoided becoming a serial killer…for now anyway. 27. What color shirt are you wearing? / Black. Like my soul. (Wow…I’m deep. Almost like a real artist?) 28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? / I prefer to levitate four inches above my bed while sleeping. Satin sheets are SOOO 1985! 29. Can you whistle? / Yes, but not while I work. (Another terrible joke.) 30. Favorite color(s)? / Wow, fifty questions is really a lot of questions. I mean, When I started this I intended on using it to pass some time before getting to work on more important things, but it feels like I’ve been typing this forever and there is no end in sight. If anyone made it this far in reading let me just say that I pity you, and I’m sorry. So very sorry. 31. Would you be a pirate? / Why do you ask? Are you offering? I didn’t know there were a lot of positions available in the pirating world anymore. I’m not sure I could pull it off. Would the other pirates ever be able to truly respect a crew mate with a metro-sexual faux-hawk? My guess would be no. 32. What songs do you sing in the shower? / Many songs. The entire score of the HMS Pinafore infact. And in case you were wondering tickets are available at Ticketmaster. They’re going quick so get yours right away! 33. Favorite girl’s name? / Rosario. I type this only because I have a bit of a creepy childish crush on Rosario Dawson and it infuriates my wife to no end. (Man, I like giving her nightmares AND I like to annoy her? I need to talk to my therapist about this.) 34. Favorite boy’s name? / Boys name. (I don’t know…I’m running out of jokes. Are there really fifteen of these things left?) 35. What’s in your pocket right now? / Nothing. I am at home in boxer shorts that have no pockets. I could tell you what I have in those but then I would have to call you all a bunch of perverts. 36. Last thing that made you laugh? / My boxer shorts joke. Man I’m funny. You’re a pervert, but I’m funny. 37. Bed sheets as a child? / Huh? What a weird question. Sort of like asking “Clothes as an adult?” or “Food as a human being?” 38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? / When I was in sixth grade I had a bicycle accident, made kissy-face with the pavement, and got over three-hundred stitches in my forehead as a result. I’ve also had a fractured rib, many, many bruises, and more than a few good, deep cuts. That’s right, my skin pretty much looks like Frankenstein’s monster at this point. 39. Do you love where you live? / It’s not too bad. The weather is good. I’ve got no complaints. (Hey, look at that, a legitimate answer to a question that is completely and totally JOKE FREE! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD DO IT, BUT I DID!) 40. How many TV’s are in your house? / Three. Which is sad because only one of them ever really gets used. Hey, I should sell the other two…might help me out with my mortgage problem from an earlier question. 41. What is your worst habit? / Having to finish each and every thing I start. Want proof? I should have said “forget this gobbeldygook!” about twenty questions ago, but here I am, still typing away, my fingers becoming more and more sore with each passing question. 42. How many dogs do you have? / None. Much more of a cat man. I simply can’t trust an animal that will, on occasion, eat its own feces. 43. Does someone have a crush on you? / Hopefully my wife does, because if she doesn’t then we’re very likely to have marriage problems down the line. (It would be nice if Rosario Dawson had a crush on me though.) 45. What is your favorite book? / Too many to list really. Everything from “Harold and the Purple Crayon” to “Fight Club” to “Watchmen” to “The Time Machine Did It.” (Hey, look at that…another legitimate, serious answer. Two out of forty five questions isn’t bad!) 46. What is your favorite candy? / Jelly Belly’s. I can’t get enough of those stupid things. So many flavors, so many calories, so darn tasty. Aint’ is always the case? 47. What is your favorite sports team? / I don’t really watch a whole lot of team sports. I’m much more of an individual sports sort of guy. In fact, I would almost say that I prefer something like Tennis (even though I don’t really like tennis) to something like Football. (This fact caused me an awful lot of problems growing up.) My favorite sport is most likely MMA. Two guys in a cage, punching each other in the face…it just doesn’t get much better than that, does it? 48. What song do you want played at your funeral? / “1999” by Prince. Hopefully it’ll be sometime around 2050, so hearing that song blaring through the speakers would be about as lame as lame could possibly be…which is exactly how I would describe my life. 49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? / Dreaming about my home town being flooded and monsters dragging people into the murky depths…wait…I already told you this, didn’t I? Hey, wait…this is question 49! ONLY ONE MORE TO GO! WHOO-HOO! I DID IT! I REALLY DID IT!! 50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? / Who gives a crap, I’M DONE WITH THIS THING! ALRIGHT! HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND! UP HIGH! DOWN LOW…too slow. (Wow…talk about ending this thing on a lame note. The high five joke? Seriously? Am I still me, or did I just turn into my grandfather?) Steve

• Something Funny
  by KCphoto

  I have been asked to shoot a calendar for a boston terrier club to sell at dog shows to raise $$ for the Canine Health Foundation. Since …

  I have been asked to shoot a calendar for a boston terrier club to sell at dog shows to raise $$ for the Canine Health Foundation. Since my Mom is a part of all of that “mess” I can’t really say no. We have used one of her litters of 5 week old puppies for the shoot & I must say they have been pretty good. Now the funny part: / Just 2 days ago she & I went to get proof prints made at a local 1hour photo lab. When we went to pick up the prints, the man at the counter said he could not sell them to us with out the permission from the Photographer. On all of those photos I had added my name & year. At first I was really “ticked off”......but then I realized that it was a good thing. That my photos looked nice enough to be confused as a Pro-Photographer’s work. I ended up having to show the guy my driver’s lisence to prove that I was Kristi Cheatham. The envelope that the photos were in had / “Must have Photographer’s release form/ permission for use” written across the front….......................I think I will save it….........at least for a while :)

• Arty Baby
  by Adam Stone

  ... I suppose it was always meant to be. !http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v307/17/72/500764832/n500764832_759356_4873….

  ... I suppose it was always meant to be. chuckles Yesterday during a little clear out I stumbled upon some of my old drawings and also a handful of photos. It’s amazing what emotions photos can evoke… Though when I saw this image a huge smile stretched across my face. hehe. I must be no older then 8 or 9 months here… and i was already keen to put pen to paper! I hope you all have a lovely day